‘Chestnut’ slogans that just keep winning Part 2
First up then, when is a chestnut not a chestnut? Well, opinions on this one differ. “Experts perfect them, connoisseurs select them” is clearly a chestnut – probably the best known and most quoted of them all. But would you see a slight variation of this most blatant example in a different light? “Sexperts perfect them…” for an Ann Summers comp perhaps? By doing this, you are attempting to make the slogan apt – albeit with the minimum of effort! – but would this be enough to stop the usual rolling of eyes when the winners list is published? Not that it matters two hoots what other people think, of course (you won, they didn’t, end of story). But clearly, there are many definitions of what is or isn’t a chestnut. Some people consider it to be a specific, particular group of words – they’ll be the ones who are the first to congratulate you on your “sexperts” variation. But others see a chestnut as a general idea that keeps on winning – “sexperts” won’t be good enough for them, and they’ll bemoan instead your blatant “perfect / select” couplet. We can apply the same criteria to most of the well-known chestnuts. Take another infamous example. In its unadorned generic chestnut form, it would be a fairly mundane “The prize excites me, the product delights me, hope you invite me”. But most compers, even the most lackadaisical chestnut plucker, will make the line apt (and probably even original!) by mentioning the actual prize, product and promoter. But even though you’ve made the effort, and have arrived at “Blackpool excites me, mushy peas delight me, hope Harrods invite me” (or whatever), does this make the sentence any less of a chestnut in most compers eyes? I think we all know the answer to that one!
The fact that most experienced compers refer to the oldest, hoariest chestnuts in an abbreviated form (“experts”… “made men too”…“excites/delights/invites”) illustrates, I think, that it’s a general idea rather than a specific phrase that achieves, at some point, chestnut status. Your killer slogan could be the most fantastically original, wonderfully clever opus ever, but if it alludes to a couplet or pun that’s won a prize before then you can expect the comments to start.
I deliberately didn’t say “complaints” there, because most compers accept that chestnuts are always going to keep on winning prizes. It’s all part of the game. It can sometimes be annoying when a winners list contains nothing but barefaced chestnuts, but these things happen and, in the true spirit of comping, you must simply forget about the apparent injustice of it all and move on. But not before making a mental note that that particular promoter might fall into the same trap next time, of course! And if you can’t beat ‘em...!
